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Bishop Max & Janet Berryessa
Max Berryessa has a long record of church service having been Bishop twice and having been in six other bishoprics. Max currently serves as a sealer in the Provo Temple. He served for ten years on the important church correlation committee. Max, an Ed.D. is Professor Emeritus of Education at Brigham Young University.
Although I served in eight different bishoprics, including twice as a Bishop with three of these experiences in student wards, I was not at the time tuned into gay and lesbian concerns. I believe there were gays in these wards, but none ever came forward to speak to me on the issue. My own awakening to these concerns began 12 years ago when my son, Guy, told his mother and me of his same sex attraction. I do have some impressions about the possibility of change based on what I know about Guy and the kind of person he is.
The Church meant everything to Guy in his early years and he looked forward to being called to serve the Lord as a dedicated missionary. When his call came he served in Sweden and upon his return he taught Swedish to missionaries in the MTC.
As a child and later as a young man it seemed I could never get close to him emotionally. He explained, after coming out to his mother and me several years after his mission, that the reason he rejected my affection and my attempts at closeness was because society had taught him that because of the way he was he was not worthy of being loved. Since that disclosure day, we have developed a closeness and loving relationship that even exceeds that of our other children.
He knew he was somehow different from his boyhood friends even at a very young age. He hoped that being faithful to the teachings of the Savior and serving a mission he would be able to change. After years of hoping for the desired change, he finally accepted the fact that the Lord made him the way he was. In his desire to do everything right according to Gospel principles during this long period of striving for the desired change, he has developed into one of the most Christlike persons I know.
Following Guy's coming out to us and after years of meeting so many fine young and older LDS gay people through our affiliation with Family Fellowship, and learning of the trials they face in their lives because of their sexual orientation, I am convinced that they did not choose to be the way they are nor are they able to change this orientation just like they are not able to change the color of their eyes.